So then I changed my diet and cut out wheat, dairy and sugar and I started juicing. Over the course of a few months I felt cleaner, brighter and lighter. It was a very nice sensation. But it didn’t seem to solve the problem. It seems the actual location of the dust bunnies is in my mind. So the next process is to purge my life of complaining.
I will do my best in this blog post to avoid complaining about the inability to complain anymore, but know that my instincts rest right around that area. I was such a good complainer. Complaining has always been a form of story-telling for me. A way of making people laugh. It is also simply my uncensored self. I am always noticing the sensations in my body and so I have always had a tendency to unconsciously share them with the people around me. Ohh, I have a really strong chest pain. Ohh, my headache is really strong over my right eye. Ohh, my knee just gave out. Surprisingly enough it drives my husband bonkers. It turns out that I never was mentioning how slippery and smooth the movements of my spine felt on a particular day. Or how strong my legs are from biking. Or how pleased I am that my digestion is so speedy and strong. Those little positive remarks were not being noticed and not being shared.
I’m working on it. I’m working on what is productive conversation among friends, loved ones and for my poor husband who sees me on a regular basis with no inhibitions. It has only been a couple of days and it isn’t that I am free of complaining, but I am light on complaining and observing the way the words feel inside me as complaints come out and enter the world.
I am also observing my language. Just in writing this post I want to brag about what a good complainer I am, but I feel much more comfortable saying that I always have been a good complainer and leave the universe open to free me of this self-identification.
Finishing the Authentic Self series has left the drive in me to role model self-approval, self-acceptance and a positive attitude; three things that so many of us struggle with through the better part of our lives. My life’s journey has in large part been an exploration and slow unfolding of these three concepts.
Let me make this quick on this crisp, clear Friday morning. Yes, the wind chill is -5 degrees, but look at the intensity of the blue sky and the brilliance of the sun. There is positivity out there and there is beauty out there. What are you choosing to see? What are you choosing to talk about and bring into the sacred space of communal living? If you can’t avoid complaining, just taste the complaining on your tongue, hear it roll off of other people’s lips and see the powerful contagion that negativity can be in a household, a workplace, the grocery store, a healthcare provider’s office, etc.
I expressed a desire to avoid complaining for the rest of the week and my husband was almost giddy. Imagine the effect we have on each other. Imagine the responsibility.
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